Implants for Lizzie...Please!!

I don't have time right now to complete the update of Elizabeth's hearing journey, but I'm going to quickly recap the events that have taken place since we returned from our trip to Houston last November because I desperately desire immediate prayers from anyone who is willing to pray for her.

Once we got back to Utah, we had another exam with a local ENT to confirm that her hearing loss was sensorineural - involving either the cochlea or the auditory nerve - and to begin the process of figuring out why she was born deaf. A blood test ruled out a virus (CMV) as the cause. We had a third ABR test that confirmed sensorineural hearing loss and no response to auditory input at the output limits of the equipment...meaning that she is really, really deaf. An MRI showed nothing abnormal, which was a huge praise because we knew cochlear implants would be an option for her. All of those appointments occurred within ten days, and then four days later, we met with a geneticist who recommended testing for two different genetic causes.

While we waited for our insurance company to approve the genetic testing, we made tons of phone calls to them trying to figure out if and when they would cover cochlear implants. We knew that some insurance companies refuse to cover the cost of cochlear implant surgery if the child is less than one year old. Every person we spoke with told us that they have no age restriction but base their approval for services off of medical necessity. Fantastic! And over the next few months, I had the same conversation with a dozen representatives who all said the exact same thing.

We had the genetic testing done in February and we got the results at the end of March. Elizabeth has Waardenburg Syndrome Type I. It's an auditory/pigmentary disorder. Only 60% of affected people have hearing loss. Most commonly, people have different colored eyes, white patches in their hair, or streaking in their skin. Elizabeth only shows two of the signs - deafness and a large distance between the inner corners if her eyes, which is another symptom. Having a definitive cause for her hearing loss was another huge step in her journey toward getting cochlear implants because it made her need for them less uncertain.

Since our insurance didn't have an age restriction for implant surgery and I knew our surgeon implants infants on the first Friday of every month, I had my hopes on a June 1st surgery date. By that date, Elizabeth would have met the requirement of six months of hearing aid use with little or no benefit. I wasn't sure if the surgeon would entertain my desire for surgery only one week before she turned 8 months, but I was willing to try because all of the research I've done has shown that implantation at the earliest age possible is best for optimal language acquisition and auditory verbal development.

During the March implant team meeting, our early intervention therapist brought up our case to the surgeon. To our wonderful surprise, the surgeon told her and our audiologist that we should get an appointment with him as soon as possible. I cannot tell you how my heart soared upon hearing that news. I couldn't believe it.

We scheduled the earliest possible appointment to have behavioral testing done in a sound booth both with and without her hearing aids. The results of those tests showed that she was not getting any benefit from the hearing aids. She heard nothing with them on...even sounds as loud as 120 dB. A week later, we met with the surgeon, who was hoping to get her on his calendar for May 4th. Unbelievable! My daughter would be hearing before she turned 8 months old.

At that appointment, he discovered an ear infection. May 4th was only four weeks away and he wanted at least six weeks to completely clear the ear of any infection before he attempted surgery. It was a little bit of a disappointment; however, my original goal of June 1st was available and I trusted that the Lord knows the perfect time for her ears to hear.

Six weeks before her scheduled June 1st surgery, I got a call from the surgeon's office. They needed to reschedule her surgery for June 29th because the surgeon's scrub tech was unavailable that day and he only works with certain people. Again, I was disappointed. Even though I know the Lord is in control, four additional weeks of waiting felt unbearable because we are so eager for our baby to hear the sound of our voices. It took me about an hour to get over my disappointment and rest in the sovereign plan of God...a plan that is better than anything I can imagine.

Our insurance doesn't require a pre-authorization/approval for surgery, but our surgeon's office recommended that we get a pre-determination, which is a promise to pay for the services that we're requesting. We sent in the information and waited to hear their response. In the meantime, the surgeon's office called back and said that we were back on for June 1st. I cried when they told me!! I immediately called our insurance company to see if they had an answer to our request to cover services. They said that they never receive it! Surgery was only three weeks away and we didn't have an answer, but with the help of some really kind people, the surgeon's office sent the request again and our insurance expedited the process. Two weeks ago, I got their answer.

They denied our request because she will not be twelve months old at the time of surgery. What?!?! For months, they've been saying that there is no age restriction. The FDA has approved cochlear implants for children twelve months and older; however, infants less than twelve months are implanted all the time. The age set by the FDA is not a requirement and surgeons are free to implant at an earlier age if they feel it is medically necessary. Doing surgery at less than one year is considered off-label use of the implants; however, off-label usage happens all the time with implants, medications, and other things. Cochlear implants are the only treatment for Elizabeth's hearing loss, so they are absolutely medically necessary for her to hear.

I immediately appealed their denial. The very next day, we met with the surgeon and asked if he would write a letter of medical necessity for Elizabeth. He and our audiologist agreed to write letters. Jason and I also wrote a letter. We spent hours working on it and siting studies published in medical journals that prove the benefits and safety of implanting before twelve months. All of those letters were sent last week.

I was hopeful but scared all at the same time. My surgeon wanted me to keep her on his surgery schedule for June 1st. We really needed an answer by today, but there was no guarantee that the insurance company would get back to us in time for her to have surgery. To my surprise, while I was playing outside with the kids, my phone rang. It was our insurance company and they are upholding their denial of our claim. My stomach dropped. Hy heart sank. I could not hold back my tears. Why?! What benefit is there to leaving my daughter deaf for four-five more months?! Right now, she is talking (not babbling), but I know that will soon stop...at least that is what everyone says. I want her to hear as soon as possible, before her talking stops, so that she can hear herself. I want her to hear my voice. I want her to hear the sound of her sister singing. I want her to hear the precious sound of her own giggles, the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, birds singing, and children playing. I want her to hear the tenderness of her daddy and brother. I want her to hear people praise God at church. I want her to hear her name! I want her to hear us tell her that we love her.

I will admit that my heart was broken upon hearing their decision. I desperately want my sweet girl to hear. BUT, God is in control!!!! And I don't want my will. I want His will to be done! I told myself, before I got any answers from the insurance company, that she will hear when He wants her to hear. Perhaps He is developing qualities in her that would not develop if she started hearing soon? Maybe there are things He is doing in our hearts and lives that would not be fruitful if she had surgery on Friday. Perhaps He is going to miraculously heal her? Maybe newer technology will be available in a few months and she is supposed to have that instead of what we've currently chosen. Honestly, I don't know the answer; but, I do know that He is my sovereign Lord who loves me and loves our Elizabeth, and He has a plan that is beyond anything I can even think or imagine. I trust Him! I can rest because His will is perfect.

I will continue to appeal until they approve our request for surgery, she turns one, or the Lord tells me to stop. Right now, I do not feel like He is telling me to stop trying. I called our surgeon's office today to give them the news. After all of their hard work advocating for Elizabeth, they were disappointed too. My surgeon has agreed to advocate for Elizabeth during a peer-to-peer phone consultation with the medical review board from our insurance company. This is one last shot to get them to approve surgery for Friday. Their consultation is Wednesday...today! I am asking for prayers from anyone who is willing to pray. Please pray for our insurance company to allow Elizabeth to receive her cochlear implants this Friday. Pray for the Lord's will, above all, and for our family to joyfully accept His plan...even if it means waiting.

I created a little slideshow of Elizabeth's life. This song, "My Heavenly Father Loves Me", has ministered to my heart so much through these past few weeks. He does love me and He does love her, and His plan for her life is so great. And even though I was momentarily disappointed because of the denial of our request for surgery, my heart is full of joy and peace and rest because my heavenly Father is the Lord of all creation with a plan that is far beyond my greatest dreams.

Thank you for reading this. It really helped me to process everything. Now, I can go upstairs and rest peacefully because I am the daughter of a great God and King who takes care of everything! I hope you enjoy this slideshow celebrating our precious Elizabeth Mae. Please keep her in your prayers, today and always.

Mother's Day 2012

I am so blessed by these gifts from my Lord.

Jackson, Allison and Elizabeth, you have made my heart overflow with a love that I never knew was possible. I adore each of you and am so honored to be your momma. I am thrilled to share life with you, and I love giving of myself to meet your needs. Being with you and your daddy brings me the most incredible joy. I hope to be the best mommy that I can possibly be...always pointing you to Jesus and teaching you to love others more than yourself. I'll love you forever. I'll like your for always. As long as I'm living, my babies you'll be!

Lizzie's Journey to Hearing Part 1: First Set of Hearing Aids

Back in January, I read my first post documenting our initial discovery of Elizabeth's hearing loss, and I couldn't believe how much had changed since 11 November. I set out to recap the events of those two months, but never finished. Four months later, I'm at it again...trying to summarize the many details of this wonderful journey. I have desperately wanted to journal my thoughts and feelings and the experiences we've been through, but I just haven't had the opportunity. There is no way I can document everything as in depth as I would like, but I'm going to give it my best shot because I want to remember the road we walked and the changes God made in our hearts along the way. I'll pick up where I left off in November...

Our trip to Oklahoma City was an absolute blessing. Elizabeth had her second airplane flight.

As our plane flew over the Oklahoma River, my heart was full of joy. I felt like I was home, and I never thought I'd say that about Oklahoma! My friend Laura picked me up from the airport, and it was SO good to see her. We had time to spare before going to Elizabeth's ENT appointment, so we drove by the place where her daughter had married a few months before and by her daughter's new home, went to the new outlet mall and enjoyed amazing cupcakes from Gigi's Cupcakes, and ate lunch at the wonderfully girly Nikkelette's Cafe. It was so great being with Laura. I don't think there was ever a moment of silence. We had so much to catch up on!

After lunch, we headed over the Hough Ear Institute for Elizabeth's appointment with the ENT. When I walked in, I saw this Bible verse written on their wall:

"He who has hears to hear, let him hear." Luke 14:35

Underneath this Bible verse was a table displaying a Bible. On another wall, I saw their mission statement:

"Guided by Christian principles, the Hough Ear Institute is committed to discovering and implementing new ways to improve hearing and balance to people worldwide through research, education and service to humanity."

Wow! I felt so comforted to see the Word of my Lord on the walls of the place where I'd be taking my daughter for her first appointment with an ENT. I had prepared my heart for whatever the doctor would discover as he looked into her ears. I can honestly say that I trusted the Lord for His perfect will for her ears and for her life, and I was ready to embrace whatever that was going to be. There were a lot of people telling me that their children couldn't hear when they were first born because of fluid in the middle ear, but I didn't feel like that was going to be the case for me. Sure, if I'm honest, it would have been nice to hear that she had fluid in her ears and that her hearing was going to be fine. But just as I type that, I find myself saying, "No. That's not how I felt. I never said, 'Lord, let it be fluid. Let it be something that we can easily fix.' In my heart, I truly wanted God's will...even if that meant deafness." There were times when the thought of her hearing loss was more than my heart could take, but the pain was not about fearing the future or anger over her disability. No, it was always about sadness for her - that she'd never heard our voices, that sound could not calm her and remind her of the womb, that she'd have to work hard to learn how to speak, etc.

So when the doctor was ready, Laura and I took Elizabeth to meet the ENT. I held her as he examined her ears and found absolutely nothing wrong with them. There was no fluid and the middle ear bones looked great. I expected to hear this, but it was still another step in the process that helped reality set in. Now I knew that her hearing loss was sensorineural (or in the inner ear). I had so many questions. This was all so new to me. Hearing loss was something I knew very little about. I should have brushed up on the anatomy and physiology of the ear before I left Utah. I wanted to understand everything and I wanted to know what could have caused her to have no response on her first ABR (auditory brainstem response) test. I remember carrying her in my arms to the Integris Cochlear Implant Clinic next door where we would do her first OAE (otoacoustic emission) and second ABR. An ABR tests for activity in the brain after an auditory stimulus is presented in the ear via probes placed in the ear canal. The auditory stimulus starts out soft and gradually increases in loudness until a response is seen. An OAE tests the function of the cochlea, particularly hair cell function. I don't know if words can describe how I was feeling. I felt alone. I felt like I was in a foreign country where I couldn't speak the language and didn't know where I was going. It was weird. I almost felt like I was in a dream. Was this really happening? I know it sounds like I'm contradicting myself - embracing what the Lord has for me yet feeling alone and lost. I didn't feel alone from the Lord, and I was definitely willing to walk whatever road He was putting in front of me; but I'm only human and the unfamiliar was...well...very unfamiliar. I guess I could liken it to doing something for the first time that you are a little apprehensive about and know nothing of what is to come.

Even though the ENT said there was no fluid in her ear, Sandy, our audiologist, did a tympanogram just to confirm. (I mentioned in the November post that Sandy and I became friends the summer after Jackson was born. I was in Oklahoma because of this friendship and her willingness to bend over backwards for our family.) After the tympanogram, which did confirm the absence of middle ear fluid, we walked to the sound booth to perform the OAE and ABR tests. When Elizabeth was tested the first time in Utah, I stood and held her for the entire test. It took me a while to release the tension in my shoulders after that thirty minute test because I was trying so hard to be completely still so that she wouldn't wake and the probes wouldn't loosen from her ears. I was very impressed as I entered the sound booth in OK and saw a recliner and Boppy support pillow. Aahhh! Wonderful! These people know how to take care of families of newborns. Since Elizabeth was awake, we cleaned the areas where the electrodes would go - on her forhead and behind her ears - and got everything attached and set up. I then nursed her and she fell asleep. I was so comfortable, I could have fallen asleep myself. I can't say how comforting it was to be with two women who I love so much and who I know care so much for me. I felt a great deal of confidence in Sandy and was glad to have someone who I trusted to carefully test my daughter's ears.

Sandy began the test. At different frequencies of sound, she presented clicking sounds in Lizzie's ears. She started at lower decibels, looking for a response in her brain that was recorded via the electrodes, and then increased the volume each time she didn't see a response. I don't know how long it will take for me to forget the awful sound of those clicks. You see, once the sound got really loud, I could hear the clicks. It's like being able to hear the sound coming from someone's headphones while the earbuds are in their ears. It has to be really loud for an outsider to hear it. I remember asking, "How loud is that?" When she answered 85 dB, 90 dB, and 95 dB, I couldn't believe it. It was so loud and Elizabeth wasn't even flinching. My heart was hurting. How could she not hear that? My ears were bothering me just from the sound that was leaking back out of the ear probes. I was worrying that we were damaging her ears just from doing the test. Here I was holding my peacefully sleeping gift from the Lord while super loud clicks were entering her ear and she had no response - physically or neurologically. The audiologist findings in Utah were correct. She really couldn't hear.

As her mother, I did shed a few tears. I just kept thinking about all of the times that I thought she was hearing me - in the car seat, singing lullabies, shushing her through fussy times. I thought about the silence of my womb and that she never heard my voice or my heartbeat. Those were the things that made the reality of her hearing loss hard.

Elizabeth woke about halfway through the test, so we went down the hall to make her first set of ear molds. Then, we went back to the booth and finished the testing. Sandy thought she might have seen some responses at 95 dB, but after reviewing the graphs, there really wasn't a response. The OAE and a bone conduction test confirmed that her hearing loss was sensorineural - dysfunction either within her cochlea or auditory nerve. There was a lot to take in, but I was actually excited because in five days, my daughter was going to hear me for the first time...or so I thought. It was my understanding that Elizabeth would get hearing aids and be able to hear while using them. Now that I'm six months down the road, I understand why that wasn't a guarantee; but at that time, I didn't understand. Hearing aids only amplify sound, but if there is something wrong with the hair cells of her cochlea, then all the amplification in the world won't make her hear normally. That's what cochlear implants are for.

On our way to the airport, I called Jason. He was in a meeting, so he couldn't answer. I wanted to talk to him so badly, but had to wait until my flight landed in Houston. I missed him so much. I wanted him to be with me...to be sharing all of this together. I wanted him to hold me, pray with me, and cry with me. Even though I had peace in my heart and trusted the Lord's perfect plan, there was some sadness in my heart for my daughter's loss of hearing. I couldn't allow myself to be sad whenever I was alone; but, I thought that having Jason around to be strong would allow me the freedom to be weak. I did have some moments of weakness. I remember singing songs to her while she was nursing and then, unexpectedly, feeling like my heart was wailing. My sorrow would just overwhelm me at times. I don't feel like that anymore. Not at all. It only happened in the first couple of weeks while everything was sinking in.

My dad picked me up from the airport that night. I flew into Hobby, so we had a forty-five minute drive back home. I LOVE riding in the car with my dad. We always talk the entire time, and we always have for as long as I can remember. There is never silence with the two of us. I was very comforted to talk to him about everything that was happening. Sometimes, I think we share a brain. We think a lot alike and he loves the Lord and trusts completely in His plan. I crave being around people like him...people who have such strong faith in the Lord that when the rain comes crashing down, they don't crumble.

My precious mother-in-law was watching my children while I was gone. I was so eager to get back to them. I couldn't wait to hold and cuddle my kids and to talk to my mother-in-law. My mom called me while we were driving home because she was about to be back at her house. Since it was on the way to my mother-in-law's house, we stopped to see her. I really wanted to see my mom. I craved a hug from her. I will never forget looking into her face while we stood on the driveway. I could tell that she was sad...for Lizzie and for her little girl. I remember needing her strength but also appreciating her sympathetic heart.

The next four days could not go by fast enough. Since we thought Elizabeth was going to hear the day she got her hearing aids, Jason and I decided that our family should drive to Oklahoma and be there for Elizabeth rather than have me fly by myself with her. We woke the kids very early on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and made our drive to Oklahoma. The car ride is a post in itself, but I know that will never happen. So, in a nutshell, here's some of what happened: the kids didn't really go back to sleep because Jason wanted a coffee {that we could have bought at the several Starbucks we passed while they were awake} but we didn't decide to stop until right after they'd just fallen asleep. Parents' impeccable timing! :-) When we made our breakfast stop in Gainesville, we changed Allison into her clothes and apparently put her diaper on crooked so she wet through her diaper and onto her clothes not even ten minutes after Jason had changed her. I changed Elizabeth too and then she spit up all over herself and completely drenched her outfit. While waiting for our food at Cracker Barrel, Jackson asked for a toy car filled with bubblegum. We said no and he was mad, so he threw the car on the floor and it broke and shot gumballs all over the store. We took our food to-go but forgot drinks, so Jason stopped at a gas station that ended up being closed because there was water everywhere from a pipe that had just burst in the bathroom. There was bumper to bumper traffic for no apparent reason on I-35 once we crossed the border. You know, those kinds of things that make life as a family very comical!

When we finally got to Oklahoma, we went straight to the Babbs' house and spent time with them until we had to leave for Elizabeth's appointment. Laura went with us to video and photograph because we really thought Lizzie was going to hear for the very first time. When Sandy saw us pull out the video camera, she said, "Now, we don't know that she is definitely going to hear with these." What? Did I miss something? I was so confused. Sandy had told me that it would be good for Jason to be here on this day and that he should come if he could. I did not understand that, more than likely, she would not hear. Laura did not understand that either, and she had been with me at the previous appointment. Somehow, we didn't communicate clearly. I think it was my ignorance coupled with Sandy not realizing how great my ignorance was. :-) Knowing what I now know, it's hard to believe that I was so confused; but, it just illustrates how huge the learning curve is when you first discover a disability that you previously knew nothing about.

In the waiting room...

Our audiologist and friend, Sandy:

Getting ready for the hearing aids...

The tube on her first ear mold was cut...

Sandy fitted her left ear first. Programming the left hearing aid...

Marking for the cut on the tube for her right ear...

Programming the right ear...

Our sweet angel was so tired. She has endured a lot in her short little life.

Jackson and Allison were so good. When they weren't looking at Elizabeth, they were preoccupied with puzzles, games, or chasing Laura.

Because the aids had to be amplified so greatly, we were getting a lot of feedback. Sandy made adjustments, but they were still whistling so much. She had a second pair that she was going to try, and since we were staying at her house for the night, she told us that we could try them once we got to her house. I was amazed at the feedback. My dad has hearing aids, and I never hear any feedback unless he takes them out of his ear while they are still turned on. Any time Elizabeth turned her head toward the bed or my shoulder, the hearing aids would whistle. Being only six weeks old and not having great head and neck control, the feedback was almost constant. We were so worried that it would bother her or hurt her ears, but Sandy assured us that it wouldn't bother her and that she couldn't hear it herself. I remember thinking that the noise might drive me crazy, but I didn't care if it meant that my daughter was going to hear.

After we finished at the Integris Cochlear Implant Clinic, we went back to the Babb's to see Brian. Rebekah gave Allison her first french braid.

Elizabeth's first night with hearing aids...

We tried the other set of hearing aids when we got back to the Over's house that night. The feedback with them was even worse, so we kept the first set. They were made by Oticon and they were flesh colored. They were so big on her tiny ears. Sandy suggested that we buy toupee tape to help hold them on, which we did do on our way back to Houston. We found a wig shop in The Woodlands and grabbed a pack of toupee tape from them. I remember walking in the shop. It was so nice and beautiful and there were women in there picking out wigs. These women had lost their hair from chemo treatment and needed the services of this shop. My daughter was born deaf and needed products from the shop. I remember thinking that health is such a blessing and something that I have taken for granted.

I was so thankful to share these experiences with friends and family who love us. We were exhausted. We are always tired when we go to Houston because we value time with family much more than sleep, but this time was even more tiring because we had been on two flights and two 8 hour road trips in ten days time. Not to mention that we had a five-six week old who needed her mommy in the middle of the night.

This is the only picture I got of Elizabeth's first Thanksgiving...

We have so much to be thankful for!

It took some time to adjust to the hearing aids. I wanted her to wear them all the time...just in case she was hearing something...but I wasn't skilled at putting them in and she was so tiny. I didn't want her to miss out on the sounds of the world around her, but if I had to do it over again, I would extend some grace to myself and not worry so much. She was only six weeks old when she got her hearing aids, and only a month later, I felt a lot more confident about putting them on. It's amazing what I learned about her and hearing loss in the few weeks following our Oklahoma trips. It's even more amazing what I now know. Those posts will come...eventually!

Uncle Ryan's Skiing Visit

Back in mid-March, Jason's brother came to visit us. (Has it really been 2 months already?!) He came to ski and hang out with us. We were so excited. Our kids were so excited. The day we picked him up from the airport, the kids must have asked me a hundred times, "Is it time to get Uncle Ryan?" We picked him up at noon after going to Bible study, Whole Foods, and the Steal Network (to pick up Allison's Potty Time DVD). Jackson was so worried that we'd be late. We weren't. We got there when his plane landed :-))

DAY 1:

I wanted to treat him to a healthy lunch, but my children had their eyes on something different. Cheeseburgers! There wasn't a decent burger place near us, so we settled for In-N-Out Burger. I've been there once before. It's greasy, but they do make it fun for the kids. My kids like the hats and the sticker puzzle. Of course, they liked having their Uncle Ryan there the best.

These two crack me up. They kind of look alike. They make some of the same faces and Jackson loves a lot of the same things that his daddy and uncle loved when they were boys. It's so much fun!

I love this girl. She knows how to enjoy life better than anyone I know.

And this baby girl is an angel. Seriously, an angel.

After we greased our bellies, we made a surprise visit to Jason at his office. I was so happy to see those two together. Jason really misses being around his brother.

Jackson recently became interested in the old Voltron cartoons. As it turns out, Ryan has them all and he brought them with him! There is no telling how many episodes they watched that night. Jackson was in heaven!

DAY 2:

Jason had Thursday through Tuesday off from work. It was wonderful! He and Ryan got all of our ski stuff taken care of on Thursday. They took Jackson and Allison to get skis, boots and poles while Elizabeth and I took care of other things. It was an adventure for them, no doubt. If you can only imagine: Jason doesn't usually have to take both of them to pick things out that are sized, Jackson requires a lot of time to make decisions when he has a lot of choices (like ski colors), Allison is fascinated with using public bathrooms, and they left not too long before lunchtime. I love having Ryan around us. Rather than getting annoyed with my kids for being kids, he laughs...and he turns the situations into hilarious stories. He has so many fun stories of their childhood. I hope I remember my kids' early days as well as he remembers his!

Once they were done with ski preparations, they had fun on the four-wheeler! Jackson and Allison love riding together. It is so fun watching them enjoy each others company.

Big brother and little sister are great, but Uncle Ryan...well, he's better!

DAY 3:

Friday was our first day of skiing since living in Utah. We were so excited. Jason and I haven't skied since March 2006 in Vail when I was a few weeks pregnant with Jackson. This was Jackson's and Allison's first time to ski. They were excited! We had everything laid out the night before so that we could get an early start. We skied at Snowbasin. It's less than thirty minutes from our house. We were all excited to leave the house and get there!

We put Jackson in ski school. Allison was too young for ski school, but we got her some skis to play around with and to use on the bunny slope with Jason. The ski school at Snowbasin is great. We loved the instructors. They were so helpful with our kids and did everything they could to make the experience a positive one. Here is the crew waiting for lessons to start:

They took the kids to the Magic Carpet first. It has a very small, snow-covered decline and then a conveyor belt that you stand on to go back to the top. Jackson was in a class of two. It was almost like having a private lesson. He got his skis on and they talked about making french fries with their skis to go down and making pizzas with their skis to stop. He got the hang of it really quickly.

Since it wasn't really crowded, they told us to take Allison down the Magic Carpet. I was pretty excited for her. We didn't know what her reaction would be.

Since we were only hoping for her to learn to feel comfortable on skis, Ryan and Jason were going to pull her along with their polls. Ryan started.

Everything seemed to be going well.

All of a sudden, she started crying for Jason. I think she probably felt unstable on her skis and it scared her a bit, so Jason came over and held her in between his legs while they skied down. She seemed to enjoy it, but since Jackson and the other boy in his class quickly figured out how to stop, she had to leave the Magic Carpet and head over to Little Cat, the bunny slope. (No one can be on the Magic Carpet without an instructor present.)

We were so excited for Jackson to experience skiing. Little Cat is a long, but slowly declining, bunny slope. It's really more of a short ski run than a bunny slope. Here he is getting ready for his first experience on a chair lift.

It's amazing the things that excite you when you become a parent. Although skiing is my favorite thing to do, and I wasn't able to do it because of the girls, I could not have been happier doing anything other than watching my boy come down the mountain and playing with my girls in the snow. Elizabeth was her usual self - accommodating, agreeable, happy, content - and so was Allison - snacking and keeping me entertained.

While Jackson and his class worked on their first run, which took a LONG time and I never thought they'd make it down...

Ryan and Jason headed off for their first runs. I was so excited for them!

Just before lunch, Jason took Allison down her first run on Little Cat.

She enjoyed it. She didn't love it, but she had fun. I think all of the gear on her head was driving her crazy. She might have liked it better without the goggles and the helmet, but there was no way we were taking them off of her. Jason's a major safety guy. (And I'm glad he is. On the second day of skiing, he and Ryan came up on a girl who was hit in the head by a snowboarder and her scalp was sliced in half!)

Jason and Allison passed Jackson on the run and he came in right behind them.

I was so surprised at how well Jackson was doing. He got better with each run. They started him off with a band that held the front of his skis together. By lunchtime, his instructor said that he didn't need the band, but he wasn't ready to let it go. He's my cautious one.

We enjoyed lunch together and then all of the guys hit the slopes again while the girls and I enjoyed the view and watched skiers and snowboarders come down the mountain.

The second half of the day, Jackson worked on keeping his arms in front. He was twisting his body whenever he made turns, so they worked on driving a car...something he can definitely relate to.

I was really proud of how he skied right around these people.

Back at the lodge, Allison put her helmet and goggles on and off, on and off.

While Elizabeth slept in the stroller, I put Alli on her skis and pulled her around snow with a ski poll. I wanted her to get used to balancing on her skis. She liked it for a little while, but what she really enjoyed was taking her boots and socks off and sitting in the chair. A sweet boy wanted to talk to her but she was uncharacteristically not Miss Friendly...as you can see in this picture.

At the end of the day, Jason and Ryan took the kids on Little Cat. They are on the first chair you see going up.

Alli had fun but Jason's back was taking a beating. Next year, we'll bring a pool noodle or hula hoop to put around Alli for Jason to hold on to.

By the end of the day, this guy was tired. I was so proud of him. He tried hard, obeyed and respected his instructor, and had fun.

DAY 4:

Jason and Ryan encouraged me to ski on Sunday and Monday, but I needed new ski pants. My ski pants from 1999 were a bit snug :-)) and I wanted to get Jason a waterproof jacket. So, on Saturday, the guys headed to Snowbasin and the girls went to Park City to take advantage of sales at the Columbia outlet. I had hoped to make it to Snowbasin for Jackson's lunch break, but I couldn't get there in time. He lucked out and ended up with a private lesson the entire day because no one else at his level registered for ski school that day. What a blessing for us! At the end of the day, Ryan and Jason took Jackson down his first green! I was so sad that I missed it. These are the only two shots of the day.

Once they got home, we all headed to The Oakes for dinner in Ogden Canyon. It's a great little restaurant with a nice atmosphere. The food is great and they have tons of flavors of Farr ice cream. Jackson and Allison got Play-Doh flavor - it's a rainbow of colors and looks really kid-pretty.

After The Oakes, I took the kids home and put their tired bodies in bed, and Jason and Ryan went to the cinema to see the Sherlock Holmes movie. I was so happy for Jason. He never gets to go to the cinema and it's something he really enjoys, especially with his brother.

DAY 5:

Sunday was day three of skiing for the guys and day one of skiing for me. I haven't skied since I was 4 weeks pregnant with Jackson. I was so excited! Jackson's ski class was a lot bigger on day three. I think he was excited to have some friends to ski with. Aren't they cute?!

We found a cozy spot in the lodge and set up camp for the day.

After one run, Jason came back to watch the girls and let me take my first run of the day with Ryan. I had a blast with Ryan! It had snowed the night before and was still snowing, so there was a ton of fresh powder. Ryan warned me. He sunk in the snow a couple of times on his run with Jason. I still had several wipe-outs. On the first one, I lost my ski. We thought it was buried in the snow but then we saw that it had fallen down the side of the run. We were cracking up as I crawled through the snow to go and get it. Fun times!

At lunch, we decided to take the kids up the gondola to eat at the restaurant on top of the mountain. I love being on the mountain. I love walking into the lodge with a fire burning, watching people come in from the cold and sipping on warm beverages, and looking out the huge windows while the snow falls on the mountain below me. It just gives me that peaceful vacation feel.

Jackson really didn't want to do ski school the second half of the day. Although he liked it, he really wanted to ski with us. Since we ate lunch on top of the mountain, we couldn't make it back in time for his class, so he stayed with us. On the first run after lunch, Ryan watched the girls so that Jason, Jackson and I could take our first ever run together. Thank you, Ryan! It was so much fun! I videoed the two of them skiing most of the way down. It made me so happy to watch them. Skiing is my favorite thing to do. It's my ideal vacation. I feel so blessed to live less than thirty minutes from a great ski resort!

Jackson was pretty excited. He finally got to use polls. I didn't want him to because he was doing so well without them, but he had been waiting for it.

I ended the day in the warm lodge with my girls and Jason and Ryan took Jackson on greens and a blue. When we got home, dinner was waiting for us in the crock pot. It was lovely!

DAY 6:

Our fourth and final day of skiing was great. The snow was super thick. Jackson skied with us the entire day. We didn't put him in ski school because he was so excited to be with his uncle Ryan. The guys took the first run. While they were out, I met a wonderful woman at the lodge. Her husband is an ENT, so we talked quite a bit about Lizzie's hearing loss and she gave her husband's opinion of the surgeon we are using for Lizzie's implant surgery. (He said that if it was his child, there are only three surgeons in the country that he'd want implanting his child and our doctor happens to be one of them. Smile!) She also homeschools her children, so we talked most of the day about homeschooling. It was a huge blessing! I met almost all of her kids too and they were wonderful.

Before lunch, Ryan, Jackson and I made a couple of runs. I was amazed at some of the situations Jackson got through. He got stuck a couple of times in the beginning because the snow was so thick, but he was incredible. I can't wait for next year!

Once we got back, I was finished for the day. I was so happy to talk to my new friend and play with my girls so that Jason could ski with his brother. I could tell Jackson was wearing out but he really wanted to ski with his daddy. He skied almost the entire afternoon. Ryan and Jason made the last couple of runs solo and the kids played in the lodge with the kids of my new homeschooling friend. The lodge was so inviting and homey. They kids played in their ski bibs or thermals and ran around in their socks. It was just like home!

DAY 7:

We toured Park City on Ryan's last day. We didn't want him to leave Utah without seeing it, and we decided that we'll definitely take a day or two and ski there next year. We made a stop at the Columbia outlet and then ate lunch at The Wasatch Brew Pub. It was great. And can I just say how much I love to be with Ryan! He is so patient and loving with our kids. He understands that they are kids. He isn't judgmental (of them or of us as parents) and he's really good at laughing at situations that could be very frustrating. I think that's one reason why my kids love him so much. He loves them, and they know it. He goes out of his way to spend time with them, and they love it!

Jackson loves to take pictures with our phone. If I remember hearing Jason correctly, he took 500 on Jason's phone! I think he likes to hear the sound of the "shutter."

I'm glad he took all of those photos. I love them! I like to take lots of pictures too. We walked up and down Main Street window shopping and taking pictures. The weather was gorgeous and cool. It was a perfect day.

After Park City, it was time to drop Ryan off at the airport. It was a sad goodbye. We love seeing him and we miss him so much! Ryan, thank you for coming to visit us. It was unforgettable!